Are only gay people welcome at a gay bar
So I decided, mainly out of curiosity, that it was time to try it out. While we welcome those who support us, it’s essential to maintain the unique identity of gay bars. Suffice to say, the whole experience left me feeling super awkward, so I left after about ten minutes and promised myself I would never go to a gay club again.
In one of the latter ones, we were treated like queens for being the only women there. Often, your local gay bar or club is the only public place you can party as a queer person without the fear of being judged or threatened for simply being yourself.
I went from coming in and feeling like I was doing something wrong, to having a great night with new friends. One of them left with my best friend, and they ended up going out for three years.
Straight People in Gay
Some gay bars and clubs which have a predominantly male clientele, as well as some gay bathhouses and other sex clubs, may offer occasional women-only nights. A few gay bars attempt to restrict entry to only gay or lesbian people, but in practice this is difficult to enforce.
After that first night, gay clubs became my second home. Some people think gay bars shouldn't be for cis straight people, but most of us think if they can be respectful and understand they're in a gay bar and not a straight bar then it's ok.
It was a club in downtown Belgrade called Apartman, and I went with my friends. Bar owners and staff play a significant role in this, setting the tone and making sure that everyone—gay, straight, or otherwise—respects the. Going to a gay club in Romania back in was a big deal — it was only a few years after the country had officially decriminalised homosexuality.
While gay bars can connect you with others like you, it’s important that you live out your identity in a way that is consensual, safe, & affirms you. That whole experience turned out so much better than I could ever have imagined.
Almost as soon as I walked in, I felt intimidated and embarrassed — almost guilty. This means ensuring that the music, performances, and overall vibe stay true to our culture. But most people there were in their thirties and forties, and seemed fairly comfortable.
I could be myself and not have to worry about what other people would think if I kissed a girl. I especially loved the general vibe in Apartman — everyone was dancing, nobody was rude, posing or giving anyone dirty looks. But nobody seemed to care, and I realised that this was what freedom looked like.
I was 16 and had just come out, and a lesbian friend wanted to check the place out. I was 17 and hanging out with two friends when another mate suggested we meet him at Station des Artistes, a gay bar in my home city of Pau, in the southwest of France.
But the state of the gay bar has become a pressing concern. A few minutes later, this old guy just grabbed my bum. There are strip clubs and dive bars and cafes and cocktail bars serving both gay and straight people.
I realised that it was cool that I was different from all the straight kids who had bullied me. We eventually left the club at 6AM. I was super nervous beforehand, and once we got there it actually turned into a bit of a nightmare. I never thought I could feel so safe in a two-storey building filled with hunky men.
But at the same time, the idea of striding into a gay venue for the first time can be intimidating for young LGBTQ people — especially anyone new to exploring their sexuality. Some of the bars were full of women, others were packed with men.
I guess that night feels so special, even now, because of how quickly and radically my outlook changed. I felt free in there — like we were all in on a secret nobody else knew about. To find out what the experience means to people across Europe, we spoke to queer people from six different countries and asked them to describe what their first visit to a gay club was like.
It felt like a magical space. Gay bars are not a monolith.